“A Superior Resource for Couples”

Terry Raburn 4

I recommend WisdomBuilt Biblical Principles of Marriage without hesitation, and am grateful to have a copy for use in assisting couples in staying together and staying happy. I often work with marriages in deep distress. Many resources offer help, but are theoretical or “ivory tower” perspectives that lack the valuable element of Biblical Truth and proven experience. WisdomBuilt is a superior resource for couples.

Dr. Linzey builds a solid foundation from Scripture, then adds constructive material which offers wisdom for building a strong and healthy marriage, a lasting relationship, and answers for marital problems. He and his wife, Linda, use their experiences and prayer-saturated victories to provide principles for building a marriage that will last a lifetime. They offer Godly wisdom which will help any couple renew their love, revive respect, and maintain a strong relationship. I am confident this book will be extremely helpful. Dr. Linzey has my blessing to offer himself and his material to our pastors and congregations.

Terry Raburn, Superintendent, Peninsular Florida District, Assemblies of God

Waited for this Book 2 Years!

Kaylin & MackIt seems as if we’ve been waiting for this book for 2 years! Finally got it in the mail today and we cannot wait to start reading it. These two are the real deal when it comes to marriage and we’ve been so blessed to have them as mentors!

If your marriage is great or if your marriage is struggling, I cannot recommend this book enough . . .

Digging Into It Together

Brook & MindyMy wife ordered my dear friend Paul Linzey’s recently published book, WisdomBuilt Biblical Principles of Marriage. I just finished it and I’m thoroughly enlightened and blessed by it. I highly recommend it, not only because he’s my friend, but because it truly is an outstanding read. His insights are well-founded, rooted in Scriptural principles as well as his many years of experience as a pastor, and a military chaplain. His University of Tampa MFA in Creative Writing has surely paid off. Mindy and I will be digging into this together.

The Chemistry of Love

Experts researching the biology and chemistry of falling in love and falling out of love have discovered there is a 2-year cycle of attraction, that is largely hormonal and chemical. What we call falling in love is the rush of hormones and chemicals that bring an excitement, arousal, happiness, and energy. You feel so good when you’re with the new lover, or even when thinking about him or her. It’s intoxicating.

Brain

This image comes from https://people.howstuffworks.com/love6.htm.

Then after about two years, that chemical/hormonal cocktail begins to lose its effect. You don’t feel the same, and you wonder what went wrong in the relationship, why you fell out of love.

George Strait recorded a song titled I Ain’t Her Cowboy Anymore about a guy whose lover is leaving, and he has no clue what he did wrong . . . or whether he did anything wrong at all.

The answer? Nothing went wrong. There’s a normal cycle that’s part of developing a mature relationship. Yes, it’s ignited by the passion and the internal chemistry, but then you have to build your marriage on a solid foundation so when the newness wears off, you don’t fall into the trap of thinking, “Oh we’re not in love anymore. It’s just not meant to be. Maybe I married the wrong person.”

Happy Brown Couple

The plan is to fall madly in love, and then take the time and the effort to install the relationship values, skills, and patterns that’ll take you through every phase of married life . . . Happy and together.

Let’s simplify things here. There are two goals in marriage: stay together, and stay happy. Easy to say; tough to do. You need wisdom if you want to reach those goals.

Proverbs 24:3-4 says, A house is built by wisdom, and it is established by understanding; by knowledge the rooms are filled with every precious and beautiful treasure.

When the proverb uses the word house or home, it’s really talking about the people and the relationships in the home. A house is built by wisdom, means developing a great relationship requires wisdom. And filling its rooms with every precious and beautiful treasure is what every couple, family, and household should be trying to do.

Royal Preserve Home 2

You’ve got to build your house in such a way that you discover the beauty, the grandeur, and the treasures God has for you. In the same way every home is decorated differently, no two marriages will look and feel the same. Your relationship will be unique because you are one-of-a-kind, but you can learn how to bring out the best in yourself, your partner, and your coupleness.

2nd Anniversary

Roger & Michelle 2

This weekend we celebrated our 2nd Anniversary (seems like so many more to both of us). Such a beautiful weekend, filled with walks, iced coffee at our favorite beach, romantic dinner in town, and lots of downtime just cuddling and being together. Never before have I felt so loved and so cherished. I ADORE this man.

Today our marriage books arrived, hot off the press, authored by my dear Uncle (also the one who married us). I love the way my Aunt and Uncle live life together; I have always looked up to them and admired the marriage they’ve built. Looking forward to diving in to those books. Awe yes… I am BLESSED.

Books on Table

Will We Ever Be Happy?

Falling in love is a wonderful experience. You’re on top of the world, and you feel like you’re the luckiest person in the world, hoping it’ll last forever.

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Then it starts to change.

At first it just doesn’t feel the same. Then comes the pain, followed by the realization that it’s over. Soon, you’re singing the oldie from the Carpenters, Goodbye to Love.

Too many marriages in the United States end in divorce, and many of those who stay together aren’t happy. The burning question is this. What are you and your spouse going to do to make sure you stay together and are happy?

After we’d been married five years, my wife and I came to a point where life was hard. We didn’t have enough money to pay the bills. She was stuck at home with a toddler and an infant. She noticed that I invested a lot more time, energy, and thought in my work than I gave to our marriage. We were both dissatisfied and unhappy. We weren’t getting enough sleep. Stress was high. We got angry easily, and didn’t laugh much. We also discovered that men and women speak different languages. She was too emotional, and I was too insensitive.

One day, I came home from work and my wife met me in the kitchen. Without hesitation, she blurted out, “Are we ever going to be happy again? Will our marriage ever be good again?”

I told her, “I think so, sweetheart. I’m not sure, but I think so.”

It would have been easy to throw in the towel and call it quits. Just as easy to start blaming, accusing, and getting angry with each other. Or maybe even look elsewhere for love and affection, and have an affair.

But we didn’t do that. Instead, we decided to do our best to be kind to each other, treat each other right, and see what happened.

Eventually, the joy did return. We got through that dark time, and we’re glad we did. But we needed to help each other through the process.

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When the Lights Go Out

It was Friday night, we’d gone out for dinner, and barely made it back into the garage before the downpour.

When the power went off, I was writing at my computer and my wife was reading an ebook on her tablet. The plan was to watch a movie a little later, but there we were with no electricity, no lights, no internet, and no television.

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“What do we do now,” she asked.

I reached into the desk drawer for the flashlight that doubles as a cell phone power source, plugged in my phone, and turned on the mobile hotspot so we could maintain internet connection. Then I walked over to the kitchen pantry where we keep two battery-operated camping lanterns, pulled one out, and placed it on the kitchen counter, where its light sprayed throughout the kitchen, dining room, and living room. Not a lot, but enough.

Lights On

For the next hour, rain poured from the sky as if God had picked up the Atlantic Ocean and was dumping it on us. Linda took the lantern over to the couch to read; my laptop had plenty of charge for me to finish the work I was doing.

Although the rest of the house was dark, and the temperature grew warmer because the air conditioner was off, we didn’t have a crisis when the lights went out. During the previous weekend, we had checked the batteries in those emergency lamps and charged my mobile power back-up. Because we were ready, there was no emergency when the storm caused a blackout. We didn’t panic, and there wasn’t a crisis.

The same can be true if something terrible happens and life itself comes to an end. If we’ve taken time to prepare in advance, even death isn’t a crisis, and we don’t have to panic.

In Philippians 1:21 the Apostle writes, “to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” That doesn’t sound like a man who is afraid of the dark or of death. He was prepared for whatever might happen.

Job is another who had a deep confidence when facing the storms of life. Despite all the pain and ugliness that he faced, he still declared, “I know that my Redeemer lives” (Job 19:25).

When the lights finally came back on, we watched an old Alfred Hitchcock movie starring James Stewart and Doris Day. It was a lovely evening—despite the storm raging on the outside.

Lightning

Look What Amazon Delivered

Jeff and Barbara posted this picture on Facebook with a note that said, “Look what Amazon delivered today! We’re looking forward to reading it together. We’ve always been grateful for the wisdom you shared with us in the past. PS How do we get this autographed?”

Jeff & Barb Hall Pic Holding WisdomBuilt

My good friends and I used to work together, once upon a time, and amazingly, they STILL decided to get the book. Since they’re in Utah and I’m in Florida, we’ll figure out how to get together, go out for dinner, and do a personalized, one-on-one book signing. I love you guys, and hope you enjoy the book.

 

 

 

 

 

Speaking at Peoples Church

Tomorrow morning, Sunday February 10, Linda and I are speaking at People’s Church, 3800 Recker Highway in Winter Haven, FL. There are two morning sessions, 9:00 a.m. and 10:30 a.m., and we’ll be at both.

Woven Together Image

The theme for the morning is “Created for Unity” and focuses on the importance of developing and maintaining unity as husband and wife. What can you do to get unity? What prevents it? What are the results if you do maintain unity? And what happens when you don’t?

This is the second of a four-part series on relationships called “Woven Together.” Pastor Mike Spivey started the series last week. Linda and I have the second session tomorrow and the third session next week on the 17th. Then Pastor Mike will conclude with the fourth part on February 24. The principles we’re talking about are relevant to all relationships, by the way. So if you’re not married, it’ll still be helpful. If you’re able to come, it’d be great to see you.

When the Ship Sinks

Dorchester 1Fifty-five minutes past midnight on February 3, 1943 the USS Dorchester was on its way to Greenland with more than nine hundred men on board. Captain Hans Danielsen, aware that German U-boats were in the area, had ordered the men to stay ready and keep their life jackets on, but many of them disobeyed the order because the life jackets were uncomfortable and impossible to sleep in.

Four Army chaplains were on the ship: a Methodist minister, a Jewish rabbi, a Catholic priest, and a Reformed Church pastor. All four had been Boy Scouts. All four were brand new lieutenants in the Army. All four were ready to serve their Soldiers, their country, and their God. All four were prepared to give their lives if necessary.

When the torpedo hit the ship, the lights went out. A lot of people died instantly; more died in the water. Others were injured. Men who were trapped below began to panic, looking for their life jacket, trying to find a way to the top deck so they could abandon ship.

As soon as the chaos began, the four chaplains sprang into action. They encouraged panic-stricken young men, guided Soldiers towards the upper deck and to the lifeboats, and helped them find life jackets. When there were no more life preservers to be found, they took off their own and gave them away in order to save the lives of a few more men, knowing that it certainly meant they themselves would die.

Dorchester 3Two hundred thirty men made it into the rescue boats that night. As they looked back at the sinking ship, they saw the four chaplains standing on deck, arms linked, praying and singing in Hebrew, Latin, and English.

What do you do when your ship sinks? How do you respond when your world is at its darkest and there seems to be no way of escape? Or when the future holds no promise and there seems to be no hope?

If Ecclesiastes 3:1 is true and there is an appropriate time and season for every purpose under heaven, and if different times and seasons call for different actions, then how we live, how we behave, what is appropriate, or what is best, may be more a matter of discernment than following rules. There is a time to shout and a time to whisper, a time to drop the bomb and a time to lay down the weapon, a time to wear the life jacket, and a time to give it away so another may live.

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An immoral man behaves inappropriately for selfish reasons. A moral man does what is right because of legal, humanitarian, or religious obligations. A hero rejects selfishness, takes his moral obligations into account, then discerns with artistic altruism a course of action that will benefit another human being, even when that act may bring harm to himself. That’s what love does. That’s what genuine spirituality aims for. That’s what Jesus had in mind when he said, “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13).

Most societies pay tribute to their heroes, and the four chaplains of the Dorchester are heroes who deserve that honor. They could have lived longer, ministering for many more years, making a difference, perhaps for thousands of people. Yet, discerning the time and the season, they chose to whisper, “I love you.” They decided to take off their life jackets. “Here, take mine.” They loved the men they ministered to, knowing it certainly meant they would die, and in making that decision, they painted a magnificent work of art.

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