As a battalion chaplain, I was asked to say a prayer before lunch at the annual family Christmas party. I love to pray. I love being visible to my Soldiers so that they know who they can go to when they need help or guidance or counseling. So I was glad for the opportunity. I also love telling my Soldiers about Jesus, but the annual family holiday party isn’t the place to preach the gospel because it is a command event . . . not a religious service.
When the time came, the commander invited me to the microphone and I prayed. I thanked the Lord for the families of the Soldiers. I asked for divine safety and protection. I prayed for the marriages and child-parent relationships. I expressed hope that the events of the day would be meaningful, fun, and encouraging. And I finished the prayer not by saying “in Jesus’s Name, Amen.” Instead, I finished by thanking the Lord for his goodness and blessings, Amen.
I returned to the table where I was sitting with my wife, and after a few minutes a young Jewish officer approached me, held out his hand to me, and said, “Thank you for being my chaplain, too!”
Who you are as a couple can be infinitely more beautiful and wonderful when you are spiritual together. Every aspect of your relationship will be better. Your spirituality can include Bible reading, singing praise songs and hymns, praying, and going to church. Some couples fast, memorize Bible verses, and talk about the beauty in the world and the universe. There are many ways to pursue and develop spiritually. The important thing is to make a plan, and that you do it together.
Early in our marriage, at a time when my wife and I were really busy, with three kids at home, finances that were really tight, and life was stressful, we didn’t know about the connection between spirituality and happiness in marriage. What we did know was that because of our circumstances, we got out of the habit of reading our Bibles, praying together, and taking time to worship together. We were totally unaware of the invisible toll it was taking.
She was right. Almost as soon as we reinstated our spiritual disciplines, a sense of unity was restored, we got along better, and the other circumstances were much easier to handle.
Humans are three-fold beings. We are physical, intellectual, and spiritual, and the Lord designed us to remain active in all three ways throughout our lives. To omit any one of these dimensions is to neglect a third of what life is all about. Some couples leave out two aspects of humanness in their marriage, focusing only on sex, disregarding the importance of the mind and the spirit. When they do this, they’re ignoring two-thirds of their potential for intimacy, meaning, and happiness together. They’re simply too shallow as a couple, and their marriage is headed for troubled waters, certain to crash against the rocks or run aground.
You can probably think of several characters in TV shows, comic books, movies, and novels who have a sidekick. There are lots of them: Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson, Batman and Robin, The Lone Ranger and Tonto, Han Solo and Chewbacca, Don Quixote and Sancho Panza, Andy Griffith and Barney Fife, Captain Kirk and Spock, Robinson Crusoe and Friday, Robin Hood and Little John, Shrek and Donkey, Moses and Aaron, Paul and Silas.
A lot of people think of a helper as someone who is less important, less skilled, or less capable than the person who really matters. In our culture, a helper is considered an underling, a hireling, or a subordinate. We call them gophers. We even talk about the hired help—people who do the tasks the important people don’t want to do or don’t have time to do. Words like assistant, adjunct, apprentice, deputy, and sidekick come to mind.
Paul Linzey 